Birth

Friday September 26, 2025

I had the chance to edit last week’s newsletter after Lindsay’s water broke at 2 a.m. and we were admitted to a labor and delivery room at 3 a.m. Friday morning, but I didn’t. So, surpriiiiiise.

At 6:30 p.m. Friday night, after 16 and a half hours of labor, Lindsay delivered our son, Desmond, into the world. A few hours later, a friend texted her that she thought women protected one another by not sharing how traumatic and horrifying labor really is. I didn’t do it, but I’d have to agree. Hollywood (obviously) brushes over the near-dreadful suspense of waiting 14 hours in a hospital room to even start the process, and it doesn’t come close to capturing the drama and terror of two hours of pushing through screams, blood, and tissue to meet a shrieking cheese-covered infant.

Suffice to say, it was an exhausting day, and I understand now that you really can’t adequately put childbirth into words or even images. I can’t say I felt that instantaneous love that people say happens when you see your child for the first time. But when I held him for the first time — about 5 hours after he was born — I got it. And that’s kind of all you can say. You just get it.

Anyway, Des has been pretty cool. He eats well, sleeps well, and when he’s awake, his natural curiosity is palpable in his constantly moving eyes. I can’t believe how expressive he is already. I can’t believe how strong he is, and the fights he puts up when he’s getting changed. I can’t believe his hair, which is the softest thing I’ve ever touched, and pours over his head like a dude in an early ‘00s snowboarding movie.

He’s just sort of fit into our lives, although we now devote every moment to him. It doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. The way Lindsay has taken so naturally to being a mom and the way Desi has met all his eating, pooping, and weight-gaining milestones, it’s become abundantly obvious that my life lacked pride before Desmond. I look at my little family and I see them all in a new, radiant light that I didn’t have the lens to see before.

Things have changed. On September 18, 2025, Desmond Perry didn’t exist. On September 21, 2025, I picked up a prescription in his name. Meaningless days in countless lives, but seismic ones in our own.

Anyway, we’ll see how regular I am with this the next few weeks. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up.

One Song: Amy Winehouse - Cupid

Lindsay made two playlists for labor: A mellow one to help her relax and an upbeat one to push. We were eager to hear what song Des would come into the world to, but you might be surprised to hear that the moment your son enters the world, the soundtrack isn’t exactly like a movie’s. You don’t notice it so much over the baby’s screams and nurses’ praise. So, we don’t know what song was playing, but Lindsay says Cupid was the first one she registered as she returned to her senses.

One Book: Magician: Apprentice by Raymond E. Feist

I did say I was excited to read to Desi. Can’t say I expected his first book to be Magician: Apprentice. But when you’re up at 2 in the morning giving your wife a break while your 4-day-old son refuses to sleep, you need something to engage your energies, so I started the latest fantasy book in my Libby and read the first chapter aloud to him. It didn’t put him to sleep, but it almost did me, so we got up and walked laps around the house instead. Anyway, Desmond’s favorite book is Magician: Apprentice until further notice.

One Hollywood: The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Hulu

Desmond had a week of firsts, including his first movie and his first R-rated movie — The 40-Year-Old Virgin. He also watched Django Unchained. Can’t keep this kid from watching age-inappropriate stuff.

One Food: Dump dinners

Many people have been incredibly generous, offering to buy us meals or sending us gift cards to make sure we eat. Fortunately, my wife is a planner, so we’re pretty prepared for the next few weeks. We took a couple of Saturdays to make dump dinners; ingredients placed in a gallon bag, frozen, and dumped into a slow cooker. Brittany Fantasia (who is due in a few weeks) provided several recipes. They’ve been a lifesaver this week.

One Animal: Goose

Man, I love this dog. A few months ago, I told some friends that one of my fears of parenthood was that I would love our kid less than our dog. That fear hasn’t been realized, but I have found clarity that dog love and child love are just different. They both need us, but Goose has such a purity of spirit and selfless nature that it’s impossible not to feel overwhelming gratitude and affection for this animal who sleeps in our bed.

For the briefest moment when we brought Desi home, I was worried about how things were going to work out. Not because Goose was unhappy or anything, but because he was so excited to meet his new little brother. He couldn’t contain it and was wriggling and sniffing and trying to lick Des with so much enthusiasm that he started barking up a storm when we redirected and restrained him. My mom and I took him for a walk to give him an opportunity to burn off some energy while Lindsay fed Des.

Since we got back, he has been great. But the change itself hasn’t been seamless. Lindsay snapped at him a few times when he sniffed Des a little too closely. He took the role of big brother a little too seriously during the first few diaper changes by trying to climb up on the changing table to supervise the process and barking loudly at Desmond’s cries. After the first 24 hours, he was noticeably low energy, like he didn’t understand how he would fit into this new dynamic.

I made a more concerted effort on Tuesday and Wednesday to spend more time with him, take him on long walks, and hug him. Lindsay found more patience with him, realizing that sharp reactions to innocent sniffs of the baby were more likely to make him fear Des than be close to him. He always approaches gently and he’s learning that he can’t give kisses — which is always the biggest challenge for him.

The last couple of days, he’s noticeably upbeat and wants to be around all of us. He curls up on the floor and watches Desi eat. He puts his head on my knee when I’m holding Desi on the couch. He jumps off the couch and goes straight to Des in the car seat when we get home.

I thought there was going to be a tougher learning curve with him, but he’s been as good of a big brother as we could hope for. I’m so grateful he picked us.