Flute

Friday July 31, 2026

It feels like a safe bet that Desmond is gonna be a little weirdo, given who his parents are. Sure enough, he is showing plenty of weirdness in his infancy. Recently, he’s been incredibly active on the changing table. Not weird, of course, that’s perfectly normal. But the only thing that will make him lie still enough to change his diaper is dad playing an imaginary flute and dancing like the Pied Piper leading the rats out of Hamelin.

It’s gotten to the point that Lindsay will call out from Desi’s room in the middle of my workday, “We need the flute man!” And then I come prancing jollily, playing my imaginary flute, and Des stops wriggling and crying and just locks in with a giant smile at dad playing his flute. And then it’s on Lindsay to finish the job as quickly as possible because all that prancing and blowing is more than my emphysema-adjacent lungs can handle. Des also loses interest if I keep playing the same tune, so I have to mix it up, throw in different genres — imaginary jazz flute, pop flute, classical flute, Andre 3000 experimental flute. The kid needs changing, and the flute gets the job done.

What’s the weirdest shit you do for your kids?

One Hollywood: Obsession, Peacock

I’m going to keep this section brief this week and just toss out some hits in honor of Obsession, which is the best movie I’ve seen since Sinners, and one of my favorites of this century. Absolute must-watch. It’s on Peacock.

One Book: “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.”

If Oscar Wilde is the king of accessible 19th-century lit, Dickens is the prince. (Emily Brontë is the Queen, always, because “Wuthering Heights” is that good, but would not really call it “accessible.”) I haven’t read enough Dickens, but “Great Expectations” is one of those timeless, enduringly philosophical novels everyone should have on their shelves.

One Song: Plastic Bertrand - Ça plane pour moi

“Jerk It Out” by Caesars Palace came up on Spotify shuffle on our drive to the Cape this past weekend, and it made me nostalgic for the music of 2000s snowboard/skate mixtapes and video games.

Oh yeah, we went to the Cape this past weekend! Des discovered his element of beachside breakfast, pond swimming, and Cape Codders on the deck at Auntie Bobbie’s and Uncle Jimmy’s house. Huge clam chowder guy. Already learning how to be a New Englander.