FOMO
Friday July 17, 2026
As he enters his toddlerhood, Desmond is increasingly (and alarmingly) becoming a carbon copy of me. He has Lindsay’s hair and flair for music, but his face is just like mine — down to the single dimple — and the sheer mania with which he approaches everything he does is a harbinger of a demon child in the making, just like his father. For the most part, I pat myself on the back for having such robust genes. Unfortunately, he also seems to have inherited some of my worst qualities, such as an enthusiasm for open-mouth kissing Goose, an insatiable need to make fart noises, and, more to the point, FOMO.
This child cannot be left out. He cannot know that anyone is doing anything that might be even remotely fun without him.
Last Saturday, we went to Singing Beach in Manchester-by-the-Sea with the Cheney family. Des had the time of his life playing in the sand, climbing all over Kirkley, and dipping his toes in the water. He absolutely refused to take a nap, blowing an hour and a half past his usual 3-hour wake window. We finally gave up on trying to get him to sleep, but had to leave to pick up Goose from daycare (which, outrageously, closes at 4pm on Saturdays). Naturally, as Curtis and I were packing everything up, Des passed out in Lindsay’s arms. Fun was done, he was done.
He used to be a great public napper. We could trust that he’d snooze on walks with Goose, if we went to coffee shops or breweries, or even when hanging with friends. Now, not so much. If something’s happening, he needs to be involved. Grabbing glasses, biting faces, bouncing like literal Tigger. If he doesn’t nap twice in a day, he sleeps terribly. It’s a small conundrum in the summertime, when he’s out of daycare, and we’re more socially active. Why couldn’t he have gotten my cynicism and lethargy instead?
I kid, I kid — I love that this kid is absolutely fearless, has love for all, and wants to be included. People are often surprised to learn that I was a shy kid. I was mostly terrified of speaking to adults until high school. Who can say what’s nature and nurture, but Des wasn’t always this outgoing. He may have inherited some natural shyness.
But I feel like Des is showing us right now who he is, decades before I could figure out myself. I see other babies his age who aren’t nearly as ebullient or have outright stranger danger, and it makes me appreciate even more this friggin’ fire that disrupted our lives. The nurture part is taking over right now, and the instability of our lives has helped make Des a more flexible, adventurous, and just plain bold little guy. He’s an awesome kid to raise, even if he doesn’t cooperate with nap time when there’s fun to be had.
I know he’s going to keep showing us more of who he is, and we’re going to keep molding him through trauma and nonsense. Something tells me, though, that the FOMO is only going to get worse.
We’re taking Des to his first Red Sox game tomorrow. He won’t remember it. We probably will.
One Hollywood: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, Netflix
28 Days Later is one of my favorite movies, so I had high hopes for 28 Weeks Later and then 28 Years Later. Both were kind of just okay. When 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple came out earlier this year, I just wrote it off because the title was so bad and it felt like more greedy, shitty, beating of a dead horse, like everything else that gets made by a studio these days.
But I saw it on a “best movies of the year so far” list and decided to watch it this week. (Watching a movie these days basically takes an entire week as I consume it at half-attention for 20-30 minute stretches at a time.) Happy to report it’s not only excellent, but it might be the best entry in the franchise.
For the uninitiated, 28 Days Later is Danny Boyle’s horror thriller about a virus that causes the infected to go into a zombie-like state of frenzied, bloodlusting rage. When it’s accidentally released from a lab, it quickly spreads across Britain, essentially devastating society and creating a post-apocalyptic dystopia within a month. You get the idea of the franchise based on the titles.
28 Years Later is set up as kind of a standalone saga within the franchise, and The Bone Temple starts to make it really click as a compelling story. You do kind of need to see the first 28 Years for the stakes of the second to fully resonate, and it helps to have seen the whole franchise, but you could enjoy it as a standalone.
If you take nothing else from this recommendation, at least take this: Ralph Fiennes hangs dong in it.
One Book: “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde
Finally finished Helter Skelter. About to start The Covenant of Water. That will probably be next week’s book, so it’s another dive into Goodreads this week. “Dorian Gray” is Oscar Wilde’s most famous work for good reason. You should read it. It’s one of the most readable pre-20th-century classics you’ll find.
One Song: Bas - Lit (ft. J. Cole & K Quick)
This came on shuffle on the way home from soccer the other night. I hadn’t heard it in a while. It’s rare these days that I just listen to music without a dozen distractions and thoughts bouncing around my head, but I locked in at 9:30 on the Fellsway.
My maybe not that controversial take is that J. Cole is the best rapper alive not named Kendrick Lamar. His verse on this track goes harder than a Dr. Morin chemistry exam.