Rainbows

Friday May 4, 2025

A couple of weeks ago, there was a torrential downpour in the Boston area for like 30 minutes, producing such a glorious rainbow that it seemed every person I knew took a picture of it. Of course, none of us was looking at the same one.

I think I knew this intellectually already, but it’s one of those basic tenets of the natural world that I’ve taken for granted. (Such as why is the sky blue? An answer that’s pretty related to the phenomenon of rainbows, actually)

Rainbow pretty. Pot of gold there. Kermit likey. Like, that’s enough, right? We can cave-think this?

Well, I couldn’t. And sure enough, all of those pictures of rainbows you see on Instagram, in your family text thread, on self-help posters — every single one is completely unique. But unlike snowflakes, which are unique in form, rainbows are unique due to perspective. We make them unique, based on where we’re standing, how we’re squinting, the light in the room with us, the particular angle of the tree or cloud in front of us, the way we’re bending over to tell Goose to chill the fuck out for a second… no two people see a rainbow the same way because no two people are ever in the exact same place. If you were in a plane when a rainbow formed, it would be a circle rather than a bow.

There’s something cathartic about that. This pretty phenomenon that emerges after the nastiest weather is genuinely unique to every single one of us. We love to inject meaning into things to create symbols, and whether you just stubbed your toe, you’ve been struggling with your mental health, you’re wondering if you should crack that first beer, or whatever else, there’s no wrong meaning to a rainbow because every single one is authentically yours.

In our solar system, rainbows only occur on this planet due to the combination of liquid precipitation and direct sunlight. These essential ingredients for life create rainbows, which means, based on our present understanding of the conditions for life, there are almost definitely lifeforms billions of light-years away infusing meaning into rainbows just like we are. Right now, some 15-tentacled fella on the other side of the universe might be telepathically broadcasting his blog about how neat rainbows are to his 13 readers. Maybe the Xlingoflorian gay community uses a rainbow flag, too. That’d be pretty neat.

One Lyric: “Why are there so many songs about rainbows/And what’s on the other side?” - “The Rainbow Connection” by Jim Henson aka Kermit the Frog

I love this song, but this first line is extraordinary writing, in my opinion. The whole song is so beautiful it doesn’t feel cheesy or weird that it’s being crooned by a felt frog tenuously holding a miniature banjo in a very real swamp, but this first line sums up the entire human experience so elegantly.

Humans are aspirational things; we seek purpose, we search for motivation, we yearn to grow, and we have an uncanny knack for creating supernatural meaning out of completely ordinary things. Henson understood better than most of us, I think, that rainbows are common, easily manufactured or manipulated things, but their beauty and ephemeral existence in nature stirs in all of us an urge to touch and understand that is one of the last threads connecting modern humanity to nature and to one another.

In one simple line, Henson celebrates the boundless ingenuity and inventiveness of people through an amphibian messenger longing to cross to the other side of that rainbow himself and find the ultimate gift of life: Connection.

Not love, like so many other songs about rainbows, but connection. Each connection we make with the important people in our lives is a rainbow in itself: Beautiful, unique, special, yet inherently common and temporary in the grand scheme of our place on this Earth. Romantic love isn’t the only kind that matters. God, I just think that’s so fucking beautiful. Henson is irreplaceable.

One Song: “Rainbows & Waterfalls” by Pretty Lights

And sometimes songs about rainbows are just catchy.

One Hollywood: Muppet Treasure Island

Jim Henson didn’t write the music for Muppet Treasure Island but Kermit got me thinking about the Muppets and the crew of the Hispaniola probably saw a rainbow at some point. Anyway, this is the greatest Muppet movie and the Swedish Chef is the greatest Muppet. This is the way.

One Creature: Leprechauns

In Irish folklore, leprechauns are solitary fairy shoemakers who, when captured and threatened with violence, might show you where he hides his crock of gold. But if you look away, he shall vanish into thin air! Persnickety creatures, leprechauns.

The tale of leprechauns hiding their gold at the end of the rainbow, however, comes from an even more cautionary tale.

Two poor farmers, a husband and wife, were said to have pulled the very last carrot out of their garden, only to find a leprechaun dangling from the roots. Caught, the leprechaun promised to grant a wish in exchange for his freedom. But the couple couldn’t agree on anything, so they treated the leprechaun like a genie, demanding all sorts of riches and benefices, until the leprechaun told them they could have all of these wishes and more if they found his pot of gold hidden at the end of the rainbow. Now there’s just a couple of rotted out old corpses at the end of the rainbow.

One Food: Lucky Charms

What do you think those kids will do if they ever actually catch Lucky the Leprechaun? Because at this point, it’s a family business. Lucky the Leprechaun was first used as the mascot for Lucky Charms in 1963. The kids who grew up chasing Lucky now have grandkids who are being trained with a very particular set of skills to get after his Lucky Charms. And if they’re still at it 62 years later, something tells me it’s personal. You don’t get endlessly humiliated and deprived of your Lucky Charms for three generations without incurring some trauma.

They don’t show you the pitchforks and burning leprechaun effigies in the commercials, but there is no doubt in my mind that these children have been molded by the shame of their forefathers’ failure and bred to kill. Lucky probably deserves to lose his Lucky Charms for being such a cocky asshole about it all this time, but I’m pretty sure the kids want to eat him now, and that’s not cool. You don’t heal generational trauma by eating the mischievous little shoemaker who tormented your ancestors for sport.

Okay, Two Song: “Rainbow” by Robert Plant

This is just an awesome song. It feels blasphemous to say Robert Plant is better than Paul McCartney but, like, I might actually believe that?

Anyway, we’re off to Palm Springs for a wedding. Have a great weekend, everybody!