Characters
Friday June 26, 2026
When Lindsay and I first started dating, I adopted a series of personas as sort of a comic relief and expression of deep-seated insanity. I’ve always done silly voices and named stuffed animals and stuff like that, but for some reason, with Lindsay, I developed full characters who would come out at certain cues, played by me, often without any real rhyme or reason.
I don’t really want to go into those characters, for some are… not appropriate for, like, life maybe. Maybe not Michael Scott bad, but still not great, and those are our private memories anyway, so back off.
I can’t explain why this was the particular sense of humor that our relationship took on, but some of the characters were legitimately insane and/or stupid as all hell, so maybe it was an elaborate, subconscious revelation of the depths of my psychological imbalance to test Lindsay’s commitment. Suffice to say, she passed.
The characters fizzled out as we became adult people with no sense of humor to speak of, but I’m starting to flex this muscle again with Des. Not much. Just a little. Perhaps children breed personality. Meet the newest characters.
Bunnito
Bunnito is a demon bunny sent to Earth to keep Desi from jumping off ledges. Particularly, the edge of Lindsay's and my bed. When Desi scrambles over me in the morning and makes a scamper for a 2-foot drop to the floor, Bunnito stands in his way, reminding him that Satan has bigger plans for him, sometimes by singing Third Eye Blind’s “Jumper.”
Dinah the Diaper Dino
Once a Desi favorite, Dinah was a vital member of the diaper-changing team. She kept Des calm and happy on his changing table while mom or dad changed his diaper. Today, the fires of Mordor couldn’t subdue Des when he’s decided he wants to flip over and look out the window. Once a spry, young stegosaurus pup, Dinah has aged more like a lab mouse than a true stegosaurus, and she is now old and feeble despite literally nothing in her appearance having changed. She may look healthy, but she is weak.
Balloon
Balloon is how we refer to the rotating cast of balloons that Desi alternates between holding bashfully and beating ferociously. You can’t get attached to Balloon.
One Book: Helter Skelter by Curt Gentry and Vincent Bugliosi
I don’t know how I fell down this true crime hole, but In Cold Blood and Helter Skelter almost back to back has been a bit of a trip. I actually think I like Helter Skelter more. The book’s about the investigation and prosecution of the Manson Family after the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders, and it’s not shy about how ass-backward LAPD fell into catching Charles Manson.
I think that was my biggest complaint about In Cold Blood — Capote is so adulatory of law enforcement, who are clearly drawn as infallible heroes in the book, even as they fail repeatedly to catch Richard Hickock and Perry Smith, who weren’t exactly hiding. Gentry and Bugliosi even take a shot at Capote in Helter Skelter after the author went on Jimmy Carson and gave a definitive psychological evaluation of the yet-at-large killer that proved to be completely, 100% wrong. In Cold Blood is convinced of its own rightness; Helter Skelter knows there is no moral absolutism.
The tension between the younger, Police Academy-educated, more scientific LaBianca investigators and the old school Tate investigators is a compelling theme, and it gives Helter Skelter more weight as a true examination of the ‘60s and ‘70s culture wars.
One Hollywood: House of the Dragon, Max
Boring pick, but it’s back this week. Some highs and lows of the first episode, but at least you can tell why it took so long to make Season 3. The first episode’s budget alone must have been $20 million. I continue to want everybody to lose, but I suppose that’s kind of the point of Game of Thrones. There is no Lawful Good in games of power and control.
Every time that theme song hits, though, it makes me miss how good peak Thrones was. Packing into Matt Vittorio and Jaiah Kai Kai’s Santa Monica apartment with Fritto Misto for ten Sundays in 2016 was magical.
One Song: Gorillaz (ft. Alicaì Harley) - Déjà vu
Gorillaz are going on tour again, coming to the Garden on October 1. I’m not a big fan of this album, so I’m undecided on seeing them. Rob Barrett, Liam O’Neil, Nick Sneath, and I saw them at Red Rocks in 2017 on maybe the coldest October night in the history of the planet. It was hard to even enjoy the concert; it was so friggin’ cold and windy. I’m a little more interested in seeing them indoors, but I don’t really want to hear 90 minutes of the new stuff and, like, the hits. Kinda crazy that their body of work is big enough now that those are the types of shows they do, but here we are. Gonna have to find some kind of special show to hear some of the deeper cuts.
One Weeknight Meal: Caesar Salad
Lindsay and I have gotten hooked on doing a one-night salad each week because Trader Joe’s frozen fried chicken strips are insane. For a while, we’d grab a Caesar Salad bag and make some chicken. Recently, we’ve been making our own salad with Farmer’s Market ingredients and then topping with the TJ’s chicken. Incredibly easy, reasonably healthy, and damn delicious — highly recommend.
I read both books long ago so don't remember the policing part so well. Helter Skelter scared the shit out of me. I read it 2nd year at UVA - not even for a class. I don't know why I was reading non class book, but once started, it's hard to put down. We had ground level apartment and my bed was by the window and I had nightmares of Manson family breaking through the window and slicing me up. It is a great book and I do remember the flailing of the police. I get sad about the remaining killers who are still alive - Leslie Van Houton I think is maybe the last. She was lost 17 ? year old who got wrapped up in all this. She's been a model prisoner. She's nearly 80? Why does she still sit in jail.
You should have mentioned that "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" was set within the Manson murders. Great movie! Great cast my mancrush Pitt, Margot Robbie and that DiCaprio guy. what more do you want!